Going through a divorce is very tough and tiring. It is a very emotional process that will inevitably affect your children. These eight tips will help you protect your children when your marriage is ending.
Breaking the News
Maintaining healthy communication with your children during these hard times is especially important. There will never be an easy way to break the news. The best possible option is for both parents to be there to let the children know about divorce. Make sure that the conversation is adjusted to fit the child’s age, temperament, and maturity. Whatever tone you go for you absolutely must emphasise that it’s in no way a child’s fault. Try to explain that it’s completely natural for people to disagree and that no matter what happens you both are going to be in the child’s life equally. Keep it simple, but at the same time try to prepare them for the upcoming changes in their lives.
Don’t Go to Court Looking for Justice
The biggest mistake parents tend to make is going to court expecting to get justice. It usually ends up being a messed up process since a trial is never a sure thing. You have to make peace with the fact that you won’t be able to get the whole truth out of the trial, but simply a narrow version of the truth. It might not be a version you like and you need to prepare yourself for that. It’s important to stay calm for you and your child’s mental health. Try to maintain your control over the outcome of the dispute by settling it outside of court.
Don’t Depend on the Kindness of Strangers
The thing you need to keep in mind is that the decisions made on the court are made by a complete stranger. This person has only known you for a few days and can account for only the aspects of you that are backed up with evidence. This is someone who only knows how you behave in stressful situations. And most importantly, this is someone who has never even met your children. They are going to be very objective because their job asks them to. So, don’t rely on their kindness.
Don’t Act Out Your Frustration
Each side will inevitably try to spin the narrative to have it work in their favour. The fact is that you are both probably going to be frustrated about it. Post-marital conflict is a common part of any divorce process. It is, however, a very traumatic period for children. It is a very difficult time for everyone, but it is important not to act out the frustration you are feeling. Try to remain as calm as possible and help your children take this whole process as easy as possible.
Know Your Weaknesses
You need to get familiar with both the strengths and weaknesses of your case. That is something your lawyer will help you with. However, not every lawyer will be completely honest with you about the negative aspects of your side of the dispute. This is why you need to take a good look at yourself before you decide to go to court. The version of the truth that comes out during a trial might end up being a very painful type of self-discovery journey that no one is really ready to take. So, it is very important to not only anticipate what you can win but to also think about what you could potentially lose in the process.
Don’t Punish Your Spouse at the Kids’ Expense
It’s always better for children to have access to both parents. However, the goal of a trial is to persuade the judge that the children should see one of the parents less often. You must remember that if you stayed married, your spouse would have regular access to your children. When people are married, there are no restrictions on seeing a kid just because one of the parents isn’t perfect. It’s only the custody fights that set the bar very high.
Get a Good Attorney
Focus on using all of the available resources you have and hire a good divorce attorney. It is very important to have legal counsel in this situation. Do careful research of potential lawyers and review their services by looking at their past cases before you make your decision. You should be looking for an attorney who will stand behind you and fight when the trial gets hard and tough. Above anything else, you need a lawyer who understands family law and has experience with asset negotiations in all possible forms. Hiring compassionate lawyers who will do their best to make this case as bearable as possible for your children, such as Doolan Wagner Family Lawyers really does matter and can help your family get through this hard time.
Be Realistic and Compassionate
Lastly, try to be realistic during this period. Be ready to accept your flaws but your ex-spouse’s as well. Let your kids have as much contact as possible with both parents because now they need it more than ever. Don’t forget that your ex is someone you used to love. That is someone you share a long history with; someone you chose to have children with. No matter what, they should remain an important part of your children’s lives. Be compassionate and mindful of that.
In conclusion, it’s important to keep in mind that your children will inevitably be affected by the divorce as much as you are. Making sure that their feelings are protected, while also making sure they understand what is happening is very important. These tips will help you protect your child during this tough period.
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